I don’t want to say it’s inevitable, but…okay I’ll say it. In the first few years of your child’s life, it’s possible at one time or another you will find yourself feeling alone in this huge role called motherhood. Perhaps it is one day when your baby has been cranky all day and your husband/wife/partner has been particularly—how can I phrase this gently—disappointing in their co-parenting role. Maybe it’s the time when your so sick and no one is around to help you get through the day chasing around a toddler when you can barely stand up. I’m not talking about the general loneliness of being stuck at home with in infant (although that is surely rough too), but a more desperate feeling of loneliness that clouds in on you like a dark storm.
Millions of mothers have come before you and millions more are yet to be, but somehow in a sea of all those mommies, you feel all alone holding up the world. That’s a rough day, or week, or even month.
If you’re in that cloud right now, I’m here to remind you, this too shall pass, and as lonely as you feel right now, you are not alone. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, or maybe a few months from now, you’ll connect with another mom in a way that you feel understood and supported. Maybe your partner will take your little one for the day and you’ll bask in aloneness instead of loneliness. Maybe you’ll begin to form a community of fellow parents in your neighborhood, and bumping into them on the street will feel comforting. Maybe someone else in your life will be there for you in a way that makes you feel supported and comforted. Whatever it is, you will know, you’re not alone in this job, and because of the loneliness you are feeling now, you’ll be able to recognize a feeling of deep connectedness. Until then, I’m sending you a warm embrace.
Kristien Mosier has an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. In her role as a therapist, Kristen works to facilitate a greater understanding of oneself and one’s relationships, collaborating with clients to create goals for a more satisfying life — all in a safe, supportive and compassionate environment. Read more about Kristen.