Being in a great relationship can produce some of the most incredible feelings of being comfortable, content, and safe. It’s typically some form of this “happy place” that most of us picture, when envisioning the “perfect relationship”. The tough part is, relationships simply aren’t perfect.
By nature, we as humans with differences in all aspects of our lives, both major and subtle, may often have different ways of perceiving what is happening around us, or communicating what is on our minds. The more we can understand these differences and potential conflicts, the more adapt we will be at navigating any difficulties in our relationships.
By understanding some of the causes of relationship anxiety and how we can best avoid and/or remedy this behavior when it shows its face, we can be prepared and equipped to deal with conflict in whatever form it may take.
What are some of the causes of relationship anxiety?
Most frequently, it can stem from a miscommunication. If anxiety could be compared to a “caution” sign while driving, it often alerts us to more serious underlying issues, or could be just that: a warning, with no actual or real danger in sight. The tough part is what happens when we let that anxiety overtake us and transition an otherwise nonexistent issue, into a larger conflict.
What are a few ways to deal with anxiety?
Don’t assume or guess what the other person is thinking.
It’s too often the case that we may think we know what the other person is thinking or feeling. In some cases, one may even go so far as to react to that assumed perspective, which can complicate things even further. If you relate it to any other situation in life it might become even clearer. Let’s say you take your first bite of food at a restaurant and it’s not the temperature requested. What if, instead of politely informing the server, you assumed that no one at the restaurant could cooke, and immediately stormed out? As you can see, by taking the step to understand the situation and address it properly, your outcome could be totally different.
Focus on the future – not the past
One of the most effective ways to alleviate anxiety in relationships is to learn from your experience and to figure out exactly how you will address a similar situation, in the future. This not only helps to resolve the current issue, but also paves the way and creates a format that both parties can work with, during any time of future conflict. Relationship counseling or couples therapy can be highly effective in helping you to understand the cause/reaction that comes with anxiety, and can make you more equipped at dealing with it in the future.