All marriages have their ups and downs. To enter into a marriage expecting it to be rainbows and butterflies for the entirety would be naive, to say the least. With that being said, there’s no shame in admitting to yourself, your partner, or your friends and family that you are going through a rough patch and need professional counseling. However, even if you and your partner are going to counseling, it doesn’t always seem like it’s working. Before throwing in the towel and giving up, here are three questions you should ask yourself and your partner.
1. Are You Both Ready?
Not everyone who goes to counseling is actually ready for counseling. Both you and your partner need to be ready and willing to begin counseling in order for it to be successful. In fact, it’s important that you and your partner are even enthusiastic about starting counseling. When both partners are invested in the success of counseling early on, it’s easier to overcome any resistance or challenges that may pop up along the way.
2. Is Your Counselor the Right Fit?
Finding the right counselor for yourself and your partner isn’t always a one and done situation. Counselors are not a “one size fits all” problem solver. Some counselors have certain specialties that others don’t. The best way to determine if a counselor is right for you and your partner is to do your research. Read over their website, call them and interview them over the phone, or read reviews online.
3. Are the Real Issues Being Addressed?
Sometimes in relationships, we think that only the small things are what are causing the problems. Small problems are often indicators of a much larger issue at hand. Some couples will pretend like everything is fine out of fear of being judged by their friends, families, and shockingly, even their counselor. The purpose of counseling is to break down those walls built up by fear so you, your partner, and your counselor can start rebuilding and resolving what needs to be done.
Even though marriage counseling offers no guarantees, it’s still worth a shot. Therefore, if you feel as if your relationship still has a fighting chance it’s time to take the leap and seek counseling. However, it’s important to remember that counseling takes effort on both sides. So, find out how our counseling services can help rebuild you and your partner rebuild and reconnect.