Why dates are important after marriage

You remember how it was when you first met. That intense rush of excitement as you got ready for a big date. The feelings like all the possibilities in the world were endless and right there for your taking. Dates made you excited to be together.


But once your married it’s sometimes easy to get caught up in the daily routine of life. From your demanding job, to the kids’ baseball practice schedules, to grocery shopping and mowing the lawn; it’s easy to forget to take time for your relationship. Don’t assume that once you get married you can stop working on your relationship. Below are some of the reasons why date nights are still an important aspect of your marriage.

Love fades…..or does it?

That intensity of emotion you experience when you first begin a relationship fades. But that doesn’t mean your marriage needs to fade along with it. Date nights separate you from all the outside forces in your lives leaving just the two of you together — just like when you first started dating. It gives you an opportunity to catch-up with each other enhancing your connectedness and rekindling sexual desire in the process.  

How often should we go on dates?

Once a month is a great goal. According to a recent study, couples that go on date nights at least once a month are close to 15% more likely to stay together. If you can fit in more, that’s great! Schedule your dates in advance. It gives you something to look forward to when the rest of your life starts stressing you out.

It doesn’t always have to be fancy

Not every date has to be at a five-star restaurant. Those types of dates are great, but if you’re part of a busy family like most of us, you don’t always have the time or budget for those stylish dates. No problem! There are plenty simpler date ideas that are just as enjoyable.


A date night doesn’t even have to be out of the house. Combine your interests to create a fun date night at home. Sit down with your partner for a few hours playing your favorite board game or another hobby you both enjoy.

Enjoying the great outdoors is another great date idea. To add some exercise into the mix why not try a round of golf or some tennis to enjoy a nice day.

Date nights help you both relax

Date night separates you from your other stresses. It’s a time to focus on each other and take the conversation to a more casual area. Try your best not to talk about work and the other aspects of your life that keep you apart. It’s a time to focus on the things that keep you together.  

Relationships are work. But dates don’t have to be.

Just like anything in which you want to excel, relationships take work. You’re willing to go to the gym and run on the treadmill to get fit, and your willing to eat the right foods to stay healthy. So it goes to prove that you’ll need to put in work with your relationship if you want it to flourish, too.

Date nights make your relationship stronger, but they don’t have to feel like work. No need stressing out about where you’re going or what you should do. The point is that you and your partner are together. If you want to go on a date that takes a bit of planning, great! If not, that’s okay too. Just make sure you’re together having fun.  

Keeping commitment strong

A date night gives you both a moment to reflect on everything you’ve accomplished. Your careers, your family, everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve. It’s your commitment to each other that made it all happen. A date night is a time to celebrate this commitment.

If your marriage isn’t feeling as exciting as it did at its beginning, date nights can go a long way to restore that old spark. In this busy world, make sure you are taking the time to focus on your marriage. If you have questions about how date nights can improve your relationship, talking with a licensed couples therapist can help keep it on track. Marriage is a commitment that takes work to cultivate. Date nights are a good first step to maintaining that commitment.