Being in a relationship is not a walk in the park. In the beginning, it might seem to be. But in due course of time, perhaps a couple of years or even just months down the road, life circumstances simply start to grow dim and dreary. What was once sweet soon becomes sour and, yes, sometimes bitter. You will discover that the happiness in your little paradise is short-lived, and in your heart of hearts, you may start asking yourself why you got into a relationship in the very first place. But breaking it off and walking out is not always the solution, and getting in and out of relationships should never become a habit.
Hopefully, the following tips can help improve an otherwise bleak or toxic relationship and somehow give it another chance.
Accept that no one is perfect.
This very basic understanding can save your relationship. You must be honest and humble enough to admit that you are not perfect. And if you know that you’re not perfect, then it would be so much easier to understand and forgive your partner for his imperfections. Being understanding, tolerant, and forgiving, becomes so much easier when you don’t expect your better half to be perfect.
Be more selfless and not self-centered.
A relationship is comparable to a joint venture, wherein people contribute and share their resources to accomplish a common goal. It cannot work if you pursue only your own self-interest instead of your shared interest as a couple. Yet unlike in business, it is a partnership that should be based on love and not on money. Business is self-seeking while love is not. Real love means putting your loved one’s needs over your own. If you truly love someone, top priority always goes to your significant other and not to yourself.
Be respectful always.
The problem when you’ve started living together under one roof for years is that you become too familiar with your partner, as if you already know that person all too well, inside and out. You’ve seen not only his good side but also his bad one. The bubble has been popped and everything is clear and exposed. The air of mystery about that other person has slowly dissipated and thus your respect has also dwindled along with it. However, we should be very slow and careful to judge, since we can’t really read another person’s mind or heart. Thus, respect should always be there even in the midst of trials. Otherwise, it will be sheer chaos.
A great relationship makes you feel like you’re floating in mid-air and everything else seems sunny and bright. A bad one makes you feel the exact opposite, as if you’re trapped in a deep, dark well and everything else about life is gloomy and dismal. In other words, the status of your relationship has a significant effect on all other aspects of your life. It can either make or break your whole being.
Yet being the social creatures that we are, it’s almost impossible to stay alone. For instance, people still start dating again and remarry even after having experienced the exhausting and agonizing process of divorce. Most would rather risk potentially getting hurt again than playing it safe, single and alone. But you don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to get hurt either. Do check out northbrooklynmft.com and learn how to strengthen and deepen your relationship. With offices for couples Therapy in Greenpoint and Williamsburg, we would be happy to assist you with any relationship hurdles you may be experiencing.